Wednesday 19 January 2011

I wonder...

Arequipa is one of the most boring places I've ever been to. Ask anyone who's come to visit for more than a weekend and they will confirm it. I find myself longing for something/where else but I'm not really sure what that is. Lack of exposure to certain things simply makes me  forget completely about that thing even if it might have counted as one of my favourite things. Like hummous  for instance. I've managed to suvive without it for the past 2 months and I'm not craving it at all. Maybe that's how I've managed to survive here too. Something happens, I get very aggrevated (I wish I had a magic wand and made my bad temper dispear...), then I start to do something else, and suddenly it's like the issue or problem never existed. Unless it comes back that is, and being Peru it is very likely to come back or invite it's cousin or something. Lol. Still, there are some things that keep coming up and one of them is that I'm restricted from any kind of constant stream of information. And I need to do something about that. And soon.

I don't really have anything to share really. I've been getting all these ideas about the things I could do here, but I think I'll just pass. I'm not that involved at school, and honestly speaking I don't really care. It's not like I decided to become dettached all of the sudden, but the truth is that I find it difficult to care or get involved. Maybe if I felt there was a real need or that my input would actually make a real difference, maybe then I would feel differently. This way, I'm trying to keep my students awake and ensure they retain whatever it is that I tell them (teach is a bit of an overstatement as they only use what they 'learn' if examined). It's a shame but this lack of commitment and interest to a certain extent makes me less interested and almost reluctant to share things beyond the required amount (and the necessary doze of nutiness, otherwise it wouldn't be entertaining for any of us and then I would find no reason to share at all). I love the kids and all, yet I'm quite happy to mind my own business only, be and let be. After all, my expectations should be limited to the amount of English they have the ability to accurately produce and understand that it's enough to know as much as I ask them to know. And I do ask for a lot, but then again I have to accept however much they're willing to put in.

I think it was a couple of years ago that I decided to stop the gratuitous acts and just mind my own business. If you need help, you can always count on me, but unlike when I first started teaching for example, I see no point in going out of my way to teach you significant important things since you are as interested as a dead amoeba. Not a very poetci comparison, but it's not my duty to wake you up from your permanent slumber. Suit yourself. Sleep tightly and comfortably. I have my own slumber to worry about. So thank you Peru for teaching me that the value of caring (not) too much has the potential to destroy you.

Now, when I said Arequipa is one of the most boring places I've ever been to, I don't think I did it justice: it has 2 cinemas, a French and a German cultural centre, a theatre (I think) and... that's about it. There's no discussion, decision-making taking place, you're not in the 'middle' of things actively participating in anything. The level of involvement, awareness and civic responsibility seems to elude these people (as it eludes my 4-dogged downstairs neighbours who don't have any issues banging the meat flat in preparation for the earliest schnitzel possible, ie 7 am, or patrolling the common entrance hall as if it was their private back yard). I wish I could say lol, but it's more like 'woe' than lol. 
 
Anywho, I showed up at their door in the height of morning in my jammies and my crazy face on and asked them why they were disrespecting me so much to wake me up with their noise every morning (exaggerations are need not only for a potential comical effect or the colour they bring to my stories, but also because these people needed to understand how much they were getting on my nerves). I have never seen such incredulous reaction in anyone. I came out of nowhere and confronted them with the unbelievable: there was a moment of theatrical marvel then one said to another to switch off the radio and the others ignored me simply because they found it difficult to understand my 'poetic' Spanish. As I was calming down I realized that I had to do with people who were not used to boundaries, physical ones, and that they didn't know any better. There was no maliciousness or anything of the sort, simply they're well.. unused to such situations and unaccustomed to sharing their territory. Today when they woke me up again at 7:30 banging something back into life, I found out that they're actually from the village. So I have decided to get over it and move on (not before I asked the landlady to talk to them to keep it down). The funny thing is that I was planning a second decent on them but I couldn't open the door. Literally. So I phoned the landlords asking for help. I did contemplate getting out the window as I had to go to work to sign a contract (more on this in a later post) but I decided it was better to wait for them and have a rational conversation with them. I never know what's ok and what's not here. Self-irony and brushing people seems to work best, so that has been my strategy.

Putting aside the lowlife and life in the low lands, there is no day that I don't marvel at the beauty of this city. Every street has its own characteristic and its own personality and no day is like the other. If you ever get to walk down past some of the glistening white buildings downtown glaring at the mighty Chachani or the imposing Misti, it gives you a sense that you are truly living in a different world. I always have this strange sensation that I'm instantaneously being elevated to some higher plains where secrets are shared in silence with the mountains. I've walked down some hidden alleys and some narrow streets that made way for a sense of wonder and mystery that is difficult to put into words. That's the Arequipa I love, the white city of  mysteries. A mere reflection of the surrounding mountains that have it so well guarded. The city is changing constantly and these changes reflect whatever disposition the glorious mountains so exposed to the natural elements seem to have.

And so my days pass and my life is passing with them going between these realities of mine. Whenever I have a moment I know I am to fully rejoice in it because I'm going to get a good taste of the other side too. That's why I'm to rejoice in its wonder even more so...

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